Original tune and lyrics by Zack Scho
It’s the Atrax christenseni, Family Atracidae
But if you really wanna go roadtrippin’
Then baby I’m on my way
They’ve got the Big Banana, the Big Merino
The Big Pineapple, the Big Mosquito
The Big Wine Bottle and the Big Beer Can
The Big Deck Chair but don’t you understand
If you’ve seen ours once, you’ve seen enough
It’s the (clap) Newcastle Big Boy
In the dark, dark days of 2025
As history’s being made
To a place called Muloobinba
Rode a Coastie bloke known as Kane
Now Newy don’t have much to offer
Except maybe a drunken prayer
But if you’re a local, you’re sure to be vocal
That it’s coal and steel and Silverchair
But Kane was searching after summer rain
For arachnids to employ
He was looking in the scrub but it was back at the pub
He found the clap Newcastle Big Boy
It’s the Atrax christenseni, Family Atracidae
But if you really wanna go roadtrippin’
Then baby I’m on my way
They’ve got the Big Banana, the Big Merino
The Big Pineapple, the Big Mosquito
The Big Wine Bottle and the Big Beer Can
The Big Deck Chair but don’t you understand
If you’ve seen ours once, you’ve seen enough
It’s the (clap) Newcastle Big Boy
The lads are ten cee-em across
Sure they can kill you dead
Though he’s got the same figure he’s
a mite bit bigger than the Sydney Funnel Web
You could say that heavy industry
Makes our spider big and strong, but
They split 17 million years ago
Before us colonisers came along
We’ve wrecked the joint like a riot at the Star Hotel
Old Country we’ve destroyed, so
When digging Hunter coal, avoid the hole
Of the clap Newcastle Big Boy
It’s the Atrax christenseni, Family Atracidae
But if you really wanna go roadtrippin’
Then baby I’m on my way
They’ve got the Big Banana, the Big Merino
The Big Pineapple, the Big Mosquito
The Big Wine Bottle and the Big Beer Can
The Big Deck Chair but don’t you understand
If you’ve seen ours once, you’ve seen enough
It’s the (clap) Newcastle Big Boy
But since we’re so damn clever
We solved his trouble for once and all
We milk him dry, then say goodbye
And give him heaven in ethanol
He hasn’t claimed a victim since ’81
Wish we could say the same
Cause there’s no antivenin for fuckwit
Or a pig’s entitled rage
Cops are off protecting profits
A fragile peace most can’t enjoy
But at least my dear, we no longer fear
The clap Newcastle Big Boy
It’s the Atrax christenseni, Family Atracidae
But if you really wanna go roadtrippin’
Then baby I’m on my way
They’ve got the Big Banana, the Big Merino
The Big Pineapple, the Big Mosquito
The Big Wine Bottle and the Big Beer Can
The Big Deck Chair but don’t you understand
If you’ve seen ours once, you’ve seen enough
It’s the (clap) Newcastle Big Boy
Do you think he knows what’s coming?
Do you think he has a clue?
When the summer flood spits Hunter mud
Do you think he’ll be mourning you?
He’s my sweet prince of crawling around
Pub to pub and bush to town
I’ll follow him ‘ere before I hang
From those dusty black mountains on Kooragang
Now who knows what the future holds
Or if those nuclear codes deploy
But here’s to 17 million good more years
For the (clap) Newcastle Big Boy
It’s the Atrax christenseni, Family Atracidae
But if you really wanna go roadtrippin’
Then baby I’m on my way
They’ve got the Big Banana, the Big Merino
The Big Pineapple, the Big Mosquito
The Big Wine Bottle and the Big Beer Can
The Big Deck Chair but don’t you understand
If you’ve seen ours once, you’ve seen enough
It’s the (clap) Newcastle Big Boy
