Original lyrics by Cindy Tonkin to the Tune of Gilligan’s Island
Professor ain’t no sailing man
but somehow, I don’t mind.
He makes things out of coconut
that really bend your mind
If you can’t make it from bamboo
and a two big coconut shells
Then you’re not trying hard enough
Professor does it well.
Professor is a clever gent
with brains as well as looks
a pedal-powered water pump
from bamboo bits he cooks
He’ll charge your batteries
make a bomb, or even jet pack fuel
Professor he’s a real nice bloke
not angry wild or cruel
with ships horn and some bright bamboo
he can detect a lie
Professor man he’s so update
He’d even bake a pie
For games of chance he’s got you fixed
he’s built a roulette wheel
and just for sport a pool table
You’re welcome and it’s real
Hot air balloon and shark repel
and Geiger counter too
there’s nothing that our man can’t do
he’s smart and fast and true
You want to make a tel’phone call
from cables on the shore
Professor rigs it up so well
he leaves us wanting more
You’re isolated and bereft
Your tooth aches like a bear
You pump the pedals as he drills
In his big dental chair
You need to play a round of golf
or sew a lovely dress
Professor has it all set up
impressive I’ll confess
he makes the others seem so dumb
his gentle voice we love
if only he’d repair the boat
then homeward we will shove
with Gilligan,
the Skipper too.
A millionaire and his wife,
a movie star,
the Professor and Mary Ann,
here on Gilligan’s Isle.
This song has no call and response, nor a chorus, so not suitable for Shanties nights (yet).
